The Bully Conundrum

Oh my! Is it just me or are we hearing a lot about bullies lately? And the call to arms from mothers who think that bullies must be stopped. 

This is the deal...there are always going to be bullies. They are one of the mandatory lessons we all must learn in life. How you choose to deal with bullies has everything to do with how you end up dealing with life, so instead of wishing they would go away, let's take a look at what there is to learn.

From the definition you can see that bullies assume a power position. They think of themselves as the ones in control. But in order for them to actually have control of the situation they need a victim...and so they seek their prey. Who do they look for? Whoever will play the part of the victim!

For all intents and purposes, I should have been mercilessly bullied as a kid. I was chubby, weird, introverted, and spent most of my time in my own imaginative little world. I was incredibly sensitive, so preferred playing by myself as other kids just seemed too loud and controlling for me to deal with. I was an introverted intuitive feeling perceptive. The perfect target. Yet I was never targeted, and this is why...I refused to be their victim.

This is what I know...we are all uniquely different. There are not two of us on the planet that are exactly the same, and we all have our own beautiful eccentricities. It is those very differences that make us valuable. If we were all the same mankind would not be able to evolve and grow. We would just keep doing the same old thing. Imagine if Steve Job's mother had told him to get his junk out of her garage and to go get a REAL job like everyone else.

Bullies prey on differences. They pick the weird kid, the fat kid, the smart kid, the handicapable kid...and they make them wrong for being different. And then one of two things happen:

• They change who they are to avoid being bullied.
  

• They stand strongly in the truth of who they are and let their light shine.
  

This choice is a direct reflection of what it is they believe about themselves. Children who are not honored and respected for their uniqueness at home tend to have a harder time.

Research has shown that most bullies are feeling powerless or out of control in some area of their life, and are seeking to regain control by dominating others. Many of these kids are verbally, emotionally, or physically abused themselves.

Bullying is a power play. But no one can have power over me unless I give it to them, right? I know that there are many kids who have ended their own lives because they could no longer stand the torment of "being bullied". But if we take an honest look, it wasn't the bully who drove them to the edge, it was their beliefs about themselves. On some level they believed that they were irreparably damaged and that they didn't belong here. Who knows the beauty and grace this world will never know by having lost those beautiful souls so early. But it's not too late to learn the lesson that they gave their lives to teach us.

We are not these bodies, these emotions, or these thoughts. We are the beautiful spirit which brings these things to life. We are the children of God (or whatever it is that you call the Source of all that is), and each and everyone of us is absolutely essential to His plan. We were created perfectly, exactly as He intended, and we all shine His light in our own unique and beautiful way.

Let's teach our children to OWN their uniqueness, honor their differences, and learn from each other's perspectives. Better yet, let's become the role models for them to follow! Give yourself permission to dance to your own drumbeat, and let others dance to theirs. The worst thing that could happen is you'll learn a few new moves!

If we were to look at the bullies as if they were teachers we would clearly see the lessons they are teaching us:

1. There are only two choices...love or fear. Being a victim is a choice to live in fear. Standing up for your Self is a choice to live in love. 
2. We are ALL unique. Love the differences, seek to understand others viewpoints, and never stop being You because it makes someone else uncomfortable. Shine your light!
   
3. Bullies need love too. The only reason that they are acting out is because they believe that control and domination will bring them love and respect. Love them anyway.
4. Be a Stand for Love in the World. If we love ourselves exactly as we are, and model for our children to love themselves exactly as they are, together we will know peace.

Please like and share the love. Thank you.


With love & light,
Keli Ackroyd
www.KeliAckroyd.com

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Oh my! Is it just me or are we hearing a lot about bullies lately? And the call to arms from mothers who think that bullies must be stopped. 

This is the deal...there are always going to be bullies. They are one of the mandatory lessons we all must learn in life. How you choose to deal with bullies has everything to do with how you end up dealing with life, so instead of wishing they would go away, let's take a look at what there is to learn.